Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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