a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
