I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
