talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Never underestimate the power of titties
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
