I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
