I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
