just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
