im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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