I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
These tits shall not be calmed
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
