It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My dick has a subreddit
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
