Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
