i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
