How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
