omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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