apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize