When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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