he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
