i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
