I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
