So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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