my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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