you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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