There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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