You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
