come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
