doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
