Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
