So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
