forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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