I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Someone shit on the floor
so let's talk penis.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
