you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
