I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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