I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
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I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize