I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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