Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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