omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
