Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
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