I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
