i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
not ubering you a puppy
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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