it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I want her autograph on my taint
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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