People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
