I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
