that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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