sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
