Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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