I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
