Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
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Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
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what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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