The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Let's paint friendship bongs
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize