kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
