OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He felt like a one man threesome
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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