apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
