Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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