that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
