I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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