Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
