It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
