My nipple is on Facebook.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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