I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
