Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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