I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
